Willy Wonka, chapter 17, 'Augustus Gloop Goes Up The Pipe', ' Charlie And The Chocolate Factory', 1964. I'm thinking of a career where I estimate crowd sizes at different outdoor events. I wonder how many people are in that field. A bear walks into a restaurant. He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled… cheese." The waiter says, "What's with the pause?" "Whaddya mean?" the bear replies. "I'm a bear!" And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster. You stole fizzy lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!"

If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it; want to change the world... there's nothing to it." Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong. Sponsorship & Advertising PolicyLife’s too short to not spend it laughing from the belly. Here at IWOOT UK, we encourage silliness, hilarity, and cheesiness, which is why we’re your go-to for funny gifts. If you’re looking for a present that’s guaranteed to make someone giggle, shop our offers and laugh-out-loud-worthy products now. Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple." A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish. The salesman asks him, "Do you want an aquarium?" The guy responds, "I don't care what star sign it is!" These Gene Wilder quotes from 'Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory' (1971) have etched the character forever into our minds.

The book was adapted to a movie, 'Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory' in 1971 where the legendary Gene Wilder portrayed the character of Willy Wonka. Subsequently, Johnny Depp played the eccentric chocolatier character in the 2005 musical fantasy film 'Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.' What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising.Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan." Because the taste would be terrible. Just imagine it! Augustus-flavoured chocolate-coated Gloop! No one would buy it."

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. Two cows are grazing in a field. One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?" The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!" Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins? You just have to listen varicosely. A friend of mine went bald years ago but still carries around an old comb. He just can't part with it. There's no earthly way of knowing which direction they are going! There's no knowing where they're rowing, or which way the river's flowing!"

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Willy Wonka: Were you one of those despicable spies who every day tried to steal my life's work and sell it to those parasitic copycat candy making cads? Many others loved the message of the advert, with one person saying: "Absolute joy to watch (especially on a Monday morning first thing). Made me laugh so much I spat my cup of tea everywhere! Thank you for bringing sparkle and fun." Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Willy Wonka quotes then why not take a look at Anne Of Green Gables quotes, or 'Alice Through The Looking Glass' quotes. Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability.